


Mars

by TaraTyler



Series: Mars AU [1]
Category: Carmilla (Web Series), Mars - Souryo Fuyumi
Genre: F/F, Laura is sort of OC, Not really though, everyone is human, i had to throw in a couple of OC's for things to work right, i was obsessed with this manga in middle school, sorry for the tears
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-09
Updated: 2016-03-09
Packaged: 2018-05-25 17:29:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 26
Words: 13,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6204334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TaraTyler/pseuds/TaraTyler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmilla is a biker with more secrets than one teenage girl rightfully should. She just wants to race and not think about her problems.<br/>Laura is an artist who doesn't want to talk to anyone... ever, unless it's totally necessary. She's just focusing on getting through her next day intact.</p><p>When worlds just so happen to collide, these two find that sometimes it is easier to be alone together.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

I drew my first portrait of a seventeen year old model. The title was Mars, the name of two things: the planet, or the Roman god of war.  
\-----//////------  
Early in the mornings, I usually like to go out into the park and sketch. There’s one particular bench where I have a perfect view of the forests and creek running parallel to the school nearby. I love the quiet and the solitude that can only be found on my bench alone, in a park, at sunrise. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I’m aware that other people are still just waking up and getting ready for their days, but just for that little bit, I feel like the only person on earth. At least, I can always hope.  
I was just working on capturing the way the trees seemed to be immersed in shadow against the horizon when she came up to me. She too, faded to black, with her back to the rising sun.  
“Hey, do you know how to get to the medical bay?” she asks, running her fingers through long black hair, looking nervous and edgy, plus, maybe a little bit scared.  
I nod hastily, just wanting her to go away ASAP and flip the page in my sketchbook. Using my ruler I draw a quick map that would take her exactly where she needed to go in the most timely manner possible. I rip it out and hand it to her without a word.  
“Um… thanks, I guess.” she says, apparently picking up on the fact that I wasn’t planning on chatting. I tended to get like that sometimes.  
“Uh… maybe I’ll see you around then.” she adds, very obviously not meaning it before hurrying off without a backwards glance to me.  
Giving up on my drawing for the day, I pack up my things and take off for home.  
“Laura, are you okay?” my dad asks.  
“Yeah, I just saw someone that I don’t like in the park today.” I answer, laying my things out on the table and shedding my coat.  
“Who’s that?” he asks, putting breakfast on the table.  
“Carmilla Karnstein.” she was kind of infamous around the campus. Despite the fact that we were all high-schoolers, Carmilla smoked behind the teacher’s backs, had probably signed the mattress of every senior girl, and rode a motorcycle. It didn’t really get any more dangerous than Carmilla Karnstein. There were even rumors that she was a vampire, I don’t believe in vampires.  
“What happened? Are you okay? Did she threaten you or try to hurt you? Do I need to call the campus police? How can I help?” he bombarded me with questions just like I had known that he would. I really should have learned not to tell him things by now, but he’s are one of my best friends and I didn’t know how not to.  
“She asked me how to get to the med bay. I drew her a map. No words were exchanged beyond that. Pretty simple. Pretty easy.” I answer with a shrug as though it weren’t the most exciting thing to have happened to me all week.  
“Why did she need to go to the medical bay? Was she hurt?” he asks.  
“No, she seemed fine to me, and I didn’t think to ask. I didn’t talk to her.”


	2. 2 Carmilla

“Hey, Mattie! Are you okay? Of course you’re not okay. Dumb question. What can I do?” I ask the exhausted looking woman lying sleepily in the hospital bed.  
“Hey, Carmilla, I thought that I was a goner for real this time.” she chuckles with a soft and sad smile.  
“I’m glad that you’re not.” I reply, sitting down beside of her, not really sure of what to say. “Is it really gone?”  
“Just above the knee.” she answered.  
“I wrecked coming around the bend in the opening race of the Grand Prix. I honestly thought that I was going to die. One minute I’m leaning and the next everything went black and I’m waking up in here, weighing a good twenty or so pounds less.” she says with her eyes closed as though she were reliving it all in her mind.  
“Get that look off of your face, it’s creeping me out.” Mattie adds.  
“It’s just that everyone dies eventually and we don’t have anyone to tell us what it’s like. No one can tell you how dying actually feels. Isn’t it natural to wonder?”” I ask.  
“No, not really.” Mattie answers.   
“Hey, Carm! Funny to see you here. I’m glad that you came.” Perry greets me, looking pleasantly surprised.  
“I’m glad to be here.” I reply shrugging my favorite leather jacket off.  
“Let’s take a walk and give your sister a chance to rest for a minute.” she advises, looping my coat over her arm and leading me out of the room. I kiss Matska’s forehead and follow Perr down the hallway.  
“The way that I have seen you drive tells me that you’re either very talented, very brave, or very stupid.” Perry says with a soft smile.  
“Well geez, thanks I guess.” I say with an eyeroll. that very much sounded like a direct quote from my sister.  
“I think that I might be leaning a bit more towards talented, seeing as to how she wanted me to give you this on her behalf.” Perry holds out a key for me. Instead of taking it. I just stare.  
“Is that…” I trail off halfway through my sentence out of sheer shock.  
“The key to the Ducati Monster. She can’t ride it anymore. She believes in you Carmilla, and so do I. I think that it might be time for you to start believing yourself as well. Now...where are we? It took me ages to find this place and I think that I might have just gotten us lost.” she says with a heavy sigh. I remember the map that the girl from the park had given me.  
“I’ve got a map that someone drew me. Maybe we can get out of here using that.” I suggest, pulling the crumpled up paper out of my pocket. I spread it out and look at it, trying to figure out where we are.  
“Here, your key.” Perry gives me the key and I hand her the map.  
“Oh, my God.” she says in an awestruck sigh.  
“What?!” I ask.  
“Did you look at the other side of this before you shoved it in your freaking pocket?” she asks me, sounding as though I had committed a grievous sin like kicking a puppy or stealing candy from a baby.   
“No, why? Is it important?” I ask coming round her to look over her shoulder.  
“Oh, my God.” apparently the odd girl from the park had drawn me my map on the back of a sketch, one of a mother holding a baby. The absolute love in the picture nearly brought tears to my eyes. I could see them springing up in Perry’s. It was stunning, the skill and the emotion equal in the image. I could barely believe it.  
“We should get a page protector for it, or something. It could smear or smudge.” Perry thinks aloud, awe still coloring her voice.  
“Yeah.” I answer, my mind still racing. The girl from the park still imprinted on my mind, and I tried to place her. She was probably a student at my school, the park was practically right across the street. I wanted to know more, maybe I knew her and just didn’t recognize her. I had been around a lot, so that was true possibility.


	3. 3 Carmilla

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry that it's short.  
> that's a necessary evil though  
> you'll see

“You be careful now, Carmilla. Don’t go breaking any speed limits on that Monster.” Perry warns her.  
“Me? Never. It’s just so sad that I’ll never get to see her riding it again, you know?” I say mournfully, kicking the bike on.  
“She’s lost a part of her leg, she’s not dead. Just appreciate that.” Perry advises. “Be careful, we don’t want to lose you, either.”  
“Who me? Now one would care if I died.” I say, tightening the helmet.   
“It’s not like we wouldn’t be torn apart if you died or anything. There’s always someone out there whose entire world would fall apart if you died, and if you don’t know who that is now, then you just haven’t met them yet.”


	4. Laura

That morning at school, I realized that my sketch of the mother and daughter from the park was gone. I assumed that it had fallen out of gotten lost, so as opposed to actually paying attention in class, I set about recreating the piece in relative quiet. A boy passing by accidentally knocked some of my pencils down and quickly apologize, knelt down and picked them up. “I’m so sorry.” he says.  
Instead of replying I pick some up as well.  
“Hey, I said I’m sorry.” he says again, a little bit more harshly.  
I want to say ‘yeah, I know.’ or ‘yeah, thanks.’, but before I get the chance, the girl behind me butts in.  
“Don’t worry about her, she’s expressionless.” she says.  
People all seem to think that I don’t have feelings because I don’t talk all that often or something. I don’t know. It’s weird how people treat you when they think that you’re different. It’s okay by me though, as long as I’m left alone with my art.  
The roaring sound of a motorcycle echoes through the classroom, and everyone knows that it could belong to only one person. Her name echoes in the wake of the engine sound on the whispers of my classmates. Carmilla Karnstein. She coasts to a stop directly outside of the window, opens it, and yells inside.   
“Don’t count me absent, chief! I’m here.” she shakes out her hair after having it smashed flat by the helmet.  
“Do you have permission to ride that...thing to school?” Mr.Vordenberg asks, he looked so angry that he could spit.  
“Come on, man.” she protests, leaning against her bike.  
“You missed opening assembly.”  
“I had a cold.”  
“You were ditching.”  
“Why ask if you already know the answer?”  
“I’ll see you in detention.” Vordenberg growls.  
“Hey, Karnstein! I thought that you had gotten held back!” someone greets her. She strolls into the room nonchalantly a good fifteen minutes later, receiving adoring looks from girls and guys alike.  
“Where’s my seat?” she asks, looking around for empty desks. The universe obviously hates me because she ends up in the empty desk next to my own. OF all of the people in the world, or even the classroom, why me? I can’t help but wonder if maybe she remembers me from this morning, or if that would be a good or a bad thing.  
She glances over at me and squints, making me wonder if I could possibly have something on my face. If she doesn’t recognize me, the colored pencil set placed neatly on my desk is probably a dead giveaway.  
“Hey you, what’s-your-name, you, aren’t you the girl from the park? I did think that you might go here, do you remember?” she asks as Vordenberg calls roll. I really wish that she would stop just so that everyone could quit staring at me.  
“Hollis? Laura Hollis?” the teacher calls out in a way that says that he is repeating himself.  
“H-here.” I reply.  
“Laura Hollis, huh?” Carmilla tries it out. “You probably don’t remember, but you drew me a map to the hospital this morning, and on the back-” I attempt to tune her out and ignore her until she catches the hint to leave me alone, but instead she tugs on one of my braids. “Ow!” I shout, drawing the room’s attention yet again as Vordie finally loses his temper and throws the blackboard eraser at my tormenter.


	5. Carmilla

“I can’t believe that you were flirting with Laura Hollis right in the middle of Vordenberg’s lecture.” Danny scolds me as I wash my hair.  
“I can’t believe that he actually threw something at me. I’m never going to get this chalk dust out of my hair. Plus, I wasn’t flirting, if I had been flirting you would have known it.” I grumble, my irritation growing. The white dust made my my black hair look gray, and old didn’t look too good on me.  
“Well, whatever it is, you shouldn’t do it with Laura. Sure, she’s cute at first glance, but really, she’s kind of weird. All she does is draw. She doesn’t talk at all to anyone if she doesn’t have to. I bet she’s phobic, you know? I had classes with her freshman year and some of the Summers and I were horsing around. I fell back against her desk and my hand barely brushed hers. She yelped and pulled back like I had burned her, like my hand was dirty or something. She didn’t even try to hide her disgust. It’s bothered me ever since.” Danny confesses, looking equally pissed and confused.  
“Well, I guess that every school has at least one person like that, right?” I say, as I turn the new facts over in my mind.  
“It kind of makes you want to rough her up a bit, right? See what happens when you ruffle those feathers?” Danny asks, blushing a bit and shoving her hands into her pockets.  
“Wow, you do have a dark side, Lawrence.” I whistled lowly.  
“Shut up, you know that I’d never bully anyone.” Danny blushed harder.  
“Of course I know what you mean.” I tell her with a shrug. Laura, however, still drew my attention.   
We had literature together as well, as I found out when Laura was called upon to read aloud. Her voice was so soft that literally no one could hear her. The teacher even asked her if she was okay or needed to go to the nurse when more than one student complained. I pulled a piece of paper from my bag and wrote her a note.  
I still have the mother and child sketch from the back of the map you drew.   
When she sits back down again and looks at the note she says “Oh!” as though something has clicked together for her with the most adorable look of surprise on her face.  
“Are you okay, Ms.Hollis?” Vordenberg asks.  
“Yeah, we just saw a rat is all.” I cover for her as her face goes fifty different shades of red. The class erupts in screeches as all of the girls jump up into their chairs to escape the fictional demon.  
“It’s fine, there’s no rat! I was just kidding!” I yell, trying to get everyone back under control.  
“See? You can be loud.” I laugh and almost get a smile out of Laura this time.  
When we are told to pick partners to read together and discuss our assigned chapter, I swing a chair around to face Laura, not giving her the opportunity to say ‘no’.  
“You drew that picture didn’t you? Do you use models?” I ask my curiosity getting the better of me, despite Danny’s warning. Already I can hear the whispers floating around that come every time I talk to somebody new.  
“I… um, there’s no one specific, really.” she answers, surprising me.  
“It’s really just from watching moms with their kids in the park and stuff.” her voice is timid and sweet. “Why did you keep it?”  
“Why?” I ask incredulously.  
“Because it was beautiful! Really, an awesome drawing.”


	6. Laura

It’s weird. even though I don’t like her, her words ran straight through to me. That simple drawing turned her from someone that I didn’t like, into a possible friend.  
“Hey, Laura! Are you going home?” she yells from upstairs as the final bell rang.  
“Ah...no, I’m headed to the studio”, I answer nervously, afraid that she’ll change sides and make fun of me. I notice the ball in her hands and ask. “Are you on the basketball team?”  
“This? No, this is work. Have any money? I can double it for you.” she tells me with a cocky smirk.  
“Karnstein? I’m going to head over.” says her friend Danny.  
“I’ll be there in a sec.” she answers as I get increasingly confused. Faster than I could have stopped her, she reaches over and pulls my scrunchie out of my hair. “Let me borrow this too, kay?”  
She has no manners, but I don’t really mind so much anymore. it’s much more easy to be around her now that she doesn’t seem quite so threatening. I stood and watched from the upstairs window for a bit before heading off to art club. Carmilla was good. It seemed almost as though every time she even put the ball into the air, it would somehow find its way into the hoop. If this was what she was betting on, I definitely trusted her with my money.  
“Hey look, are Karnstein and the boys playing basketball for money again?”  
“An empty court means quick money, I guess.”  
“I bet you that Karnstein and Lawrence are the ringleaders. The two of them together is never good news.”  
Do you have any money? I can double it for you.  
I guess that is what all of this had been about. I was painting at my station quietly, listening in on everyone else. I glanced out of the window again and saw her sitting on the sideline, tucking her hair behind her ears. She still had my hair tie.  
“You play hard, Karnstein.” Lawrence comments sitting down beside of her.  
“It’s a living, you know? Gas money ain’t cheap.” she says with a sigh, running her hand through her hair.  
“You’re lucky, though. I want to live on my own.” Danny says.  
‘But being broke is pretty bad. You can’t even get out to get a haircut. “ Carmilla groans. She runs her hand through her hair once more and pulls out the hair tie, glancing at it, unaware of me watching her.  
“Laura, you’re still here?” Vordenberg asks, “It’s great that you’re so dedicated but school has been over for hours. You had better head home...but, wait a moment. You really do like to draw, don’t you? What are you working on now?” he asks. I feel cold water rush down my spine in a stream, terrifying me and freezing me in place, all at once. He leans over my shoulder to look at my work. “You draw so well.” He covers my hand with his own and I fear that I might actually work. “Is this the hand that you draw with? Such a talented hand…”  
My voice...nothing would come out. I couldn’t make myself scream. I very much wished that I could scream as a creepy, crawly, old man hand edged down my shirt.  
“Hey, Mr.Vordie.” says a sultry feminine voice from the doorway.


	7. Laura

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for another shorty

“I...I was just making my last rounds around the school. You’re not even in the art club. What are you doing here?”  
“Oh, I get it. You can’t come into the studio unless you’re in the clu. Well, maybe I’m wanting to join the art club too.”  
“Don’t be stupid! There’s no way that you can draw, Carmilla.”  
“You ever know, man. I might have a hidden talent.” she turns to look at Mr. Vordenberg, and I can see actual death in her eyes.  
“And I may be stupid, but at least… I go after girls my own age.” I gulp, unsure of what’s about to happen, or if I wanted to be here for it.  
“What are you talking about? Do you have any proof? You don’t get to insult me like that!” A pale hand reaces for one of the boxcutters on the table, long fingers curling around the handle in a strong grip.  
“Wh-what in the hell do you think that you’re doing?!” Vordenberg stutters.  
“Relax.” Carmilla says soothingly, a light smile appearing on her face. it didn’t reach her eyes. “I’m just sharpening myself a pencil.”  
“Cuh-Carmilla.” I choke out in a gasp.  
“It’s not like I was thinking about cutting up your face or anything.”


	8. Laura

Vordenberg tipped over a chair, he was fleeing so quickly. I had never known that a nearly completely average teenage girl could be so totally terrifying. It felt even worse when she turned her gaze onto me. Carmilla’s voice came out in a growl.  
“What’s wrong with you, Laura? You let him feel you up without saying even a single word? You should have screamed or at least asked for money or something.” she says in what’s almost a grumble.  
“If you look scared like that, it makes people think that they can take advantage of you. You do know that, right?” she asks me in a much more gentle tone. Carmilla looks at my easel as well nad then back to the model. “Hot damn, your drawing is just like a photograph. What is it called?”  
“Mars.” I answer, still much too scared to say much of anything else.  
“Like the planet?” she says, thinking that she’s sooo clever.  
“Most people think that it’s just a planet. But, there is a Mars in Roman mythology as well.”  
“Mythology? Is he some sort of god?”  
“A soldier. A soldier and a god. He is the god of war himself.”  
“Really? For someone so violent, he’s got a terribly gentle face, doesn’t he?” Carmilla asks, absorbing all of the information that i had just given her like a sponge. She wraps her hand around the back of the bust’s head and leans forward to tilt her face to his until their lips meet. The incident is both oddly beautiful and strange. I just know that it is something that I will never forget.  
“Hey, Carm! What are you doing? Let’s go.” Danny yells into the room without looking in, really.  
“I’ll be right there. Oh! Yeah, here.” she throws me a bundle of cash tied together with my hair scrunchie.  
“I told you that I would double it. Just a bit of art appreciation really.” 

I don’t understand the feeling in my chest. It’s almost as though something were just born inside of me.


	9. Laura

“Wait up, Karnstein. Why don’t you want to join the basketball team? I’m telling you, I’ll make you a starter.” Danny protests.  
“And I told you that I’m busy with work. Unlike you guys, I can’t waste my energy on trivial things like that.” says Carmilla in a low grow again.  
“I told you not to bother her with it. She races motorcycles, so she definitely couldn’t care less about our basketball team.”   
“Does Karnstein have a racing license?” Danny asks.  
“Yeah, I heard that she won in the Suzuka 4-hour endurance race when she was fourteen years old.”  
“That’s starting to get really awesome, Laura. I can’t wait to see it when it’s finished.” said the substitute art instructor.  
“Laura...Laura…?”  
“Oh, Carmilla. sorry. I was sort of absorbed in this.”  
“I brought this back for you. I’m sorry that it’s all crumpled. I didn’t realize that there was a picture on the back, so I stuffed it into my pocket.” Carmilla says looking incredibly sheepish.  
“It’s okay. It was only a sketch. Once I have it drawn onto a canvas, I only need it for reference.” I dismiss her with what could almost be a giggle.   
“You don’t need it- you mean that you were just going to...throw it out?” Carmilla looks almost saddened by that. “If you’re going to just throw it out, um… do you mind if I just keep it?” she scratches the back of her neck with what looks like a blush.  
“Th..that’s fine, I guess.” I answer her.  
“R-really?!”  
“If you want it, sure. It’s not important anymore, you can even have the oil painting too, once it’s done.” she smiles like a little girl. I can’t believe that this is the same Carmilla from yesterday.  
“You must be kidding me...you’ll just give it to me?”  
The same Carmilla whose cruel and dark eyes gave me chills.  
“I mean, isn’t that asking too much?”   
It’s my turn to blush now.  
“I can’t just take it for free. Hmmmm...and I don’t have any money, either. Let’s see, what can I do for you?” she stops and thinks for a moment, turning up her chin to look up at the ceiling. “I can protect you. If anything happens, I’ll stand by you. That’s about the only good thing that I’m good for..oh. There is one more thing. Let me if you ever feel like fooling around. I’ll lend you my body whenever you want.” She winks at me and I feel like my heart has skipped several beats.  
“Hey!” I yell as she skips down the stairs. “Will you lend me your body?!”   
“Aahhh!” she yells, missing a step and sliding down the stairs.  
“Wh...what?!” she asks looking shocked.  
In the sixteen years that I’ve been alive, I have never said…  
“I want you to model for me.”  
...anything so bold. Together we head back into the art room, and shut the door behind us.  
“So, do I take my clothes off?” Carmilla asks, a light blush coloring both of our sets of cheeks. I shake my head, hard.  
“Oh, thank God. I though that you wanted a nude model. My heart was beating so hard.” she laugh, a jingly tinkling sound.  
I have to say that I cannot believe that I actually asked Carmilla to do this for me.  
“U...um...could you just take off your top shirt?” I ask, my face going even more red.  
“And then what do I do?” But I couldn’t avoid saying it…  
“Sit in that chair and be still.”  
“I can sit however I want?”  
“Yeah.”  
She had been so beautiful when she kissed that statue of Mars in that burning sunset. She may have been just playing around…  
but I was moved.  
“I said I would lend you my body, but I had no idea that that would be modeling. I would rather help you with something that feels good.” she suggests, making me blush again. I was beginning to think that it might be on purpose.  
“Hey, is it true that you hate being touched?” she asks, and the moment is good and thoroughly broken. “What’s your deal?” she reclines back against the chair, making me have to erase and redraw several different things.  
“Can’t you stay still? it’s hard to draw…”  
“You’re smart enough to know the difference. I’m a real person, unlike that guy.” Carmilla gestures to the bust of Mars.  
“By the way, Mars-- was it Mars? I had thought that I had heard his name before. Nostradamus prophesied about him. In July of ‘99, a terrifying king would come down and the world would be ruled by Mars. I thought, “Who’s Mars?” but I finally remembered. What do you think the world would be like if it was ruled by a war god?”  
“Carmilla, do you believe in prophecies?”  
“Even if I didn’t believe in them, the world is going to collapse. Everything is screwed up.”  
“That’s true, but…” I look at her worriedly. I can tell that something is very wrong. “You don’t care if the world ends?”  
“I can’t imagine that the future would be all that great.” Carmilla looks thoughtful and amused. “It’d be more interesting to come to a crazy, flashy end.”  
“Interesting.” I murmur, trying to capture the feelings from Carmilla that I was catching onto my easel.  
“You know how you get all excited right before a typhoon? Like that…” Carmilla yawns and it makes her seem even more like a puppy to me than she had before. “I wish that it would hurry up and come. I wonder how it will happen.” she leans her head on the back of the chair and her hair falls down across her cheeks. “Will it be a sea of fire? Or a storm of radiation…”


	10. Laura's Thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Couldn't resist

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i felt that a thing was necessary here

“All of that talking must have tired her out.” I mutter to myself, leaving my pencils behind and shuffling as quietly as possible up to where carmilla skept. She has such a beautiful face and up close, with even more detail, she only gets more beautiful.


	11. Carmilla

I woke up at lunch with a note from Laura saying that she hadn’t wanted to wake me. I couldn’t help but to think that a very Laura-like thing to do. I shake out my long tangled black hair, and head out, rather disappointed that Laura wasn’t around to talk more. I couldn’t help but want to talk more with her, it was so engaging. I was still drifting off, thinking about our conversation more when my girlfriend, Caroline, cornered me.  
“I want to break up, Carmilla.” she says, her arms crossed, already on the offensive. However, from the ticking of that vein in her temple I could tell that she wanted to say something else as well.  
“You’re still a junior and have time to spare, but I’m a senior and have to study for college exams...it’s not like we can go on with our little playtime.” she says flippantly as though it didn’t matter to her when it very obviously did.  
“Oh, okay.” I answer her, shrugging it off. I wasn’t or at least, had never been much of one for monogamy anyway. “Good luck with your studying.” I add.  
“Wait! What’s with you?!” she asks, grabbing my jacket and yanking me back.  
“Is it true that you have a new girl? I heard that you were seen fooling around in the art studio.”  
“You mean Laura? I haven’t done anything.”  
“It’s too late if you’ve done something!” she yells right back into my face. I scratch the back of my neck in confusion. I had absolutely no idea of what was happening right then.  
“What are you so mad about, thought that you said that you wanted to break up?” I ask, completely unsure of what it was that was going on.  
“It was a trick, you idiot!” she yells, her face going red. I decide that I had made a major mistake in dating one of the more dedicated ones.  
“I even bought you a Bulgari watch.”  
“I didn’t ask for it.”  
“Then give it back!”  
“I don’t have it anymore, I pawned it.”  
“I can’t believe you!”  
“But the motorcycle repairs…”  
“Which is more important? The bike or me?”  
“The bike.” I answer immediately. Really, who did she think that she was kidding?


	12. Laura

I could not believe what I was seeing. Carmilla was standing in front of me, a Band-aid poorly disguising three parallel lines running down her cheek.  
“I guess that I can’t model very well with this face, now can I?” she asks me sheepishly, a blush coloring normally pale cheeks.  
“What happened?” I ask, noting her embarrassment and recognizing that there is a story behind it.  
“Oh, ah, a cat got me.” She lies, really poorly. Really poorly. I was surprised.  
“Oh, real? There’s a cat with red nail polish at our school?” the hall monitor asks as she passes by.  
“You haven’t gotten old just for show now, have you?” Carmilla asks like she was proud of her noticing.  
“I’m afraid to think of what she will be like when she gets older. You had better watch out, Laura. People like that will destroy you.”  
Way back when, if this were the old me, I would have thought the same thing. It’s true that Carmilla is rather messed up. She likes to push the boundaries, but I don’t sense any selfishness from her at all, she’s just confident. The world is full of selfish people and there is nothing that you can do to save it. No matter how well you hide it, selfishness seeps out well and slowly. Spreading its awful stench.  
Vordenberg had been such a good teacher. I couldn’t believe that he had done such a thing.  
“Let’s have someone break down this sentence construction, yeah?” he asks.  
“That’s not fair, Mr. Vordenberg. It’s way too hard!” one of the students protests.  
If Carm hadn’t walked in right at that time…  
“You’re practicing after school, right? I want to see how much you’re learning.” He insists.  
I’ll protect you. she had promised.  
“Ms.Karnstein, you try it.” he suggests, and I sit straight up in my seat. THis has to be harassment. Is he out of his mind? There is absolutely no way that Carmilla takes after shoot practices. The boy behind her wakes her up gently and points her to the board.  
“Hmmmm?” she asks in a sleepy-tired voice.  
“What’s wrong? Are you the big girl on the court but not the campus?” he asks in a teasingly cruel voice. I couldn’t believe that I had never seen it in him before.  
Carmilla takes a moment to study the writing on the wall so to speak, glance at me, then Vordenberg, and back to the board, a grin on her face that says that she’s about to do something that she thinks is clever.  
“It’s your fault that I woke up.” she groans and I’m not sure about whether it’s to him or me. On the board, she had written, in perfect German.

This teacher, who appears to be a good man, is actually a terrible person who sexually harasses his female students!

“What? Sexual harassment?”  
“Nice try, but I lived in LA for eight years. Went to a boarding school. Learned four languages. I know my German.” Carmilla growls.  
“You mean that you’re multi-lingual?”  
“Didn’t I tell you?”  
“No.”  
“Well, whatever.” says random students.  
I’m choking back laughter as Carmilla passes by me and I put out my hand. She smacks it with one of the most brilliant smiles that I have ever seen on her bright red lips. No one ever mentions it aloud, but everybody knows that what Carmilla Karnstein has said is true. The whispers say it all over the place. People began to come forward, and they didn’t seem to be stopping.  
That thing that Carmilla wrote on the board in her German class, it was joke, right?  
I can’t believe that Mr.Vordenberg would sexually harass anyone…  
I can’t believe that Carmilla’s German is that perfect.  
Her grades are a joke, though. She never even shows up for class.  
But I heard that she had the top score on the entrance exam.  
No kidding?


	13. Carmilla

I am still filled with a cold rage when I leave school at around lunch time, no longer feeling as though I could withstand any of it. I climb aboard the Ducati Monster and halfway hug it. Using my legs I pour my anger into her sides as I ride. I’m breaking several speeding laws when I realize that there was something very very wrong. My heart felt like it was folding in upon itself. I had never known that I could be that angry. I learned differently, quickly.

“Your brake pads were taken off. This is a pretty vicious joke. Does someone have a grudge against you?”

“Hhmmm… too many to count.”

“You and your crazy life. Everything else looks good, I don’t know how you did it. There is no damage to the bike at all.” I sigh, exhausted beyond belief. Almost dying does that to a person.

“It’s too bad, about Mattie. She was a good rider. We all get hurt, but to lose a leg… Are you going to be racing?”

“No, my bike is out of service and I have no money. My old lady stopped sending me cash.”

“What did you guys get in a fight again?”

“I can’t seem to get along with that woman, and she keeps bugging me to quit riding.”

“She’s just worried about you. Why don’t you move back home?”

“No way. I’d go nuts living there.” I refuse automatically.

“You’re plenty crazy, now.” 

“Ha ha! True, true.” I light a cigarette, no longer capable of handling or coping.


	14. Carmilla

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> she might still have some vampish tendencies though

“You play hard ball, Vordie.” I announce, cornering the man alone in a hallway a few hours later. I throw one arm around his neck as though we were the best of friends. I was running on nothing but cold rage now. “I almost ended up in the hospital.”

“Wha… what are you talking about?” he asks, obviously and rather poorly playing the idiot.

“Well, well, you made quite an impact. I see you in a different lift. And here is what I think … if we’re going to be playing, we should go all out. This is really the only time in my life I can go crazy, you know, being a minor and all. Oh, yeah… your car is the white Infiniti, right?” I stand up, shove my hands into my pockets and grin.

“Be extra careful not to get into any accidents.”

The whispers changed their tune rather quickly after that.

I heard Mr. Vordenberg quit.  
I wonder what happened?  
I heard that he was being recruited by some after-school college program.  
Too bad, he’s a good teacher.

“Hey Carmilla, I heard that you broke up with your girlfriend. It’s good that you ditched her, that old hag.” a girl that I don’t think that I have ever even met before informs me.

“Old hag? She just had the one year on me.”

“She didn’t suit you, such a snobby girl. Hey! Take me on your bike sometime.”

 

“NO.” I answer immediately. That’s my thing. People don’t get to join me in the doing of my thing.

“Why not?!” she protests automatically, as though she had some sort of right.

“My bike gets jealous when I let other girls ride her.” I say in my usual manner.

“Really?” 

“Yeah, really. Sometimes she scratches and stuff.” I laugh, glancing over at Laura who looked to be working so hard at not laughing that I feared she might swallow her own tongue. The girl finally seemed to get the message: I’m not interested. She went on her way and I glanced to Laura again. Something, or possibly someone knocks against her desk and she slips her finger against the blade, cutting it.

“Yow!” she shouts, voice laden with pain.

“Oh, I’m sorry. My foot hit you.” the girl who had been attempting to flirt with me apologized, really fakely. I ignore her and look to Laura, who is just staring at her bloody finger as it falls down in a river.

“What are you doing? You klutz!” I scold her. She glanced up to me with that blank look still on her face, like she’s not even seeing me there, Since she’s obviously not going to do anything about it, I take her hand in my own and placed the cut on her finger gently against my tongue. 

Everything, even time seems to stop then. Nearly every person in the room stopped and stared.


	15. Carmilla

“Carmilla, what are you up to?” Danny asks, later that day in gym. “It’s not good for her to stand out!” She scolds me.

“Why are you so pissed?” I ask, feeling kind of attacked. It was almost as though this entire day hated me.

“You’re so clueless!” Danny insists. “There are a ton of girls that want to go out with you! Why are you acting out like that in front of them? You are just going to antagonize her! Whatever happens to Laura is on you. It’s not as though you have a shortage of girls, why do you have to go after the goody- goody?” She complains and I prop my head up on my fist and look at her, even smirking a bit.

“Danny, you like Laura, don’t you?” I ask, completely aware that I was seriously messing with her head.

“Wha… what the hell are you talking about?”

“I was wondering what was up, you bug me so much about her. If you like Laura so much, do you want me to tell her for you?”

“You idiot! Besides, I was pretty much crushed to bits in Junior High…”

“Oh, yeah, you told me about that.”

“Are you completely clueless? Laura isn’t a neanderthal like you and the girls you usually date. You had better not say anything to her!”

“What did you just call me, jackass?!”

“Oh, shut up, you moron!”


	16. Laura

“You have had quite the attitude lately.” Elsie tells me after school that day, backed up by two of the other more popular girls. i just stare at them, ready to face whatever fate they might have planned for me.

“Don’t you go thinking that you’re so high and mighty just because Carmilla has been a little bit nice to you lately. Carmilla would never even look twice at you. Don’t even try to get to her. Do you even have a clue about yourself?” she bombards me with wicked, evil, and nasty things meant to get underneath my skin. It worked.

“I’m not really… I just asked her to model for me.” I mumble hoping that that will be enough to get her to leave me alone.

“That’s what I’m talking about!” Elsie shouts, and lets her hand fly, knocking me backwards.

“You’re an eyesore. You never speak, and you’re always in your own little world. You annoy me. You’re gloomy and stupid, and just looking at you makes me sick. You better not show off anymore, or you’ll really get it!” 

“Aww! Poor thing, we made her cry. That’s what you get for pissing off Queen Elsie. She would have been nicer if you had just kept your mouth shut.”

“Yeah, we could have even friends.”

“Hey, cute shoes! I’ll be your friend if you give them to me.”

“Aw, too bad. They’re not my size.” she says once I have taken them off and given them to her. “It’s a shame, but they’re useless.” she throws them over her shoulder and into the dumpster behind her. They walk away laughing at me. I never said a single thing in protest. Once they are good and gone I go back into the school to look for my gym shoes, but they weren’t there either.

It bothered me so much that I spaced out all through my last few classes and didn’t even bear the bell ring.

“Laura, where are your shoes? Who’s gotten to you?” Carmilla asks when I turn the corner out of the classroom.

“They didn’t fit right.” I murmur. “I threw them out.”

“I’m not that stupid.” she grumbles. “Who got you?” she honestly looks very insulted that I would think such a thing of her.

“Why do you care?” I ask in reply, hardening my heart to her obviously concerned gaze.

“It’s none of your business, Carmilla.”

“Hey, wait!” she shouts down the staircase that I was descending.

“Is it really none of my business?” she slides down the railing and I chuckle on the inside. SHe really would be that cool, wouldn’t she? Her intense dark eyes lock onto mine, and she grabs my arm, firm but gentle as well, all at once.

I gaze back, no longer trembling. “Carmilla, have any of your girlfriends ever been bullied before?” I ask.

“No…” she answers drawing together in confusion.

“You see what I mean? The problem is with me. I’m just slow and stupid… It’s no wonder that everyone gets annoyed with me so easily. I’m always the problem. It’s the most that i have said all day. It feels kind of nice.”

“Why don’t you get mad?” She asks already filled with righteous rage on my behalf.

“If I get mad, they’ll just get me back.”

“So, you can get them.”

“We would end up killing each other.” 

“So what?”

“You aren’t afraid of anything are you?”

“I’m afraid of a lot of things.”

“You wouldn’t understand what I’m going through.”

“Are you going home like that?”

“It’s not like I can’t walk.”

 

“You’re not such a wuss after all. I’ll take you home, where do you live?”

“But you said that no one is allowed on your bike?” I ask, surprised that she would make an exception for me of all people.

“I figure that she can deal with just this one allowance, she tells me, putting on that super charming, panty-dropper smirk.

“Oh, right, you don’t like to be touched. That will be an issue on a motorbike, of course. Stupid Carmilla, stupid, stupid, Carmilla.” she mumbles to herself in an adorable and self-conscious manner. “Of course, you don’t want a ride. My fault, my fault.”

“Oh...okay.” She says as I reach out with a trembling hand and take her helmet from her and strap it on. She straddles the bike in a way that I can’t help but to find rather sexy. I can’t say that I had ever found anything truly sexy before. This was definitely it. She kicks the bike on and after the roar starts I’m pretty sure that this trip is going to kill us both. 

“Aren’t you going to wear one?” I ask.

“Riding without a helmet is nice every once in awhile, just so long as we aren’t caught by the cops.” I slide on behind her and hesitantly place my hands on her sides.

“By the way, it’s my first time riding with a passenger. If we die, then I’m sorry.” she says and I swear that she’s probably smirking underneath that helmet. Oh yeah, we are both going to die.

Still, I don’t think I would care if we died like this, the wind whipping by, my front pressed to Carmilla’s back and her whooping with joy as she yells, “Bye bye, Danny!” at her friend.

Is this what they mean by becoming a slave to love?

I don’t know what lies up ahead, but I want to keep on going forever.


	17. Carmilla

“Is this you?” I ask. Laura’s arms had remained locked around my waist long after the bike had stopped moving.

“Um, uh, yeah.” Laura half fell off of the bike.

“Are you alright?” I ask, already feeling incredibly concerned.

“I feel like I do after I’ve been on a roller coaster.” Laura mumbles, trying to find, footing. Her face is totally green and she is stumbling like she is blasted levels of drunk. I grin at how completely adorable she is, and take a look around.

“Hey, isn’t that the park where we first talked?” I gestured to the place across the street.

“Well, it was really only me who did any of the talking.” I chuckle nostalgically.

“I’m sorry that I was so rude to you that day.” Laura apologizes, looking particularly embarrassed. 

“Hey now, that map really helped me out. I had just been wandering around in circles before.” I laugh, I had just been wandering around in circles before.” I laugh, I had just gotten adjusted to her talking at all.

“Are you sick, Carm? Why were you there?” Laura asks.

“There’s nothing wrong with me at all, it’s a friend of mine, Cupcake.” I clench my jaw and swallow hard, even going so far as to turn around so that I could hide my emotions from her.” They had to amputate her leg after a racing accident. She had all of the talent but none of the luck.”

“Do a lot of people die on motorcycles?” she asks me in that sort of pointed way that she has. I can always tell it when she’s gotten an idea into her head.

“Well, it’s more dangerous than a 4-wheeler, but it’s fine if you take it easy, but I also can’t help it. I end up speeding anyway. Riding fast is such a rush. If I had to trade this feeling in, I wouldn’t mind dying.” I stare up at the sky, watching the clouds float across the atmosphere and wondering if they ever wished that they could move faster.

“I think that I might understand what you mean. It was a little bit scary at first though…” she looks up at the clouds and watches the sky trying to understand what it was that I was seeing.

“Thank you, for trusting me with your life.” I tell her, almost teasingly. What I didn’t expect was for her to start crying.

“I’m sorry, I can’t help it.” she buries her face into her hands while the tears just don’t stop coming. “I know that you don’t mean anything by it. That you’re just, all in the moment.”

I have no idea of what to do. She is crying so hard and she can’t seem to stop her heart from aching at the sight.

“But, when you said that you would protect me…” she chokes on her own words… “it made me happy. You gave me courage.” she cried into her hands even harder.

“Laura!” shouts a male voice from in the distance. “What have you done to my daughter?”

“No, Dad! Dad, stop! It’s not what you think!” Laura grabs his shirt and yanks him away from me where he clearly intends to murder me then and there.

“Oh, sorry, I guess that I jumped to some pretty bad conclusions.” he apologized.

“Hey there, nice to meet you.” I shake Laura’s father’s hand, and stare at mine in his much larger one.

“Aaahh, so this is what a father’s hand feels like. I’m Carmilla Karnstein.”

“It’s good to meet you too, I guess.” he says looking incredibly confused.

“The pleasure is mine.” I grin, fascinated by meeting her father.

“Um, thank you for the ride. You always seem to be rescuing me.” Laura tells me, her face going so pink that I think that it might pop, now she looks even more embarrassed than before.

“Well, go ahead and kiss me if I’m supposed to be your own personal hero or something.” I say with that sexy wink as I straddle my bike again. On top of all of her embarrassment, Laura felt at her panties falling to the ground of their own accord.

“Just kidding, well, mostly kidding. What do you think of Danny?” I asks, remembering Lawrence’s interest. “Do you remember any past grudges or something? Or can you just not physically stand her?”

“Not really. It isn’t anything like that at all.” she answers, looking just as confused as I felt.

“Okay, got it. That’s cool, then. See you later.” I said as I jumped the bike and waved as I rode away, needing out of there right away.

“What a very strange young lady.” I barely heard Laura’s dad say.


	18. Laura

“No more riding as motorcycles, okay Laura? You had no choice today, but motorcycle gangs are dangerous.” my father scolded me as I helped to wash dishes.

“Carmilla isn’t in a motorcycle gang, Dad. She has a license and she races.” I knew as soon as it came out of my mouth that I should have left out the part about the racing.

“Racing? That’s even more dangerous! She doesn’t seem like a bad kid, but… she just seems so ridiculous.”

 

“She’s a good person!” I exclaim completely on accident.

“Laura?” Dad asks.

“You have it all wrong. You’re judging her by the way she looks. How you look isn’t who you are? We both know people that who might seem good and honest… may do terrible things behind closed doors!” I continue to yell, on my way out of the door and locking myself into my bedroom. I flip through my sketchbook and look particularly at the ones of Carmilla.

I was only seeing the surface, too. I thought that Carmilla was just some cheerful punk biker girl, and for some strange reason that was all that I had thought that there was to her. There was still so much that she didn’t know.

“Do you always think about things like that?” I ask her, despite the fact that she isn’t there. “Do you regularly think about dying?”


	19. Carmilla

“Carmilla!”

“Elsie!”

“Carmilla!”

“What’s your story? You let Laura ride on your bike?!” Elsie yelled, apparently very angry over the entire situation.

“Well, someone got rid of her shoes…” I attempt to reason with my psychotic ex-girlfriend.

“But why does it have to be Laura?! It’s embarrassing! When you broke up, I was the closest to you!” Elsie protested.

“That’s just whatever… but what’s with this ridiculous rivalry?” I gulp to keep the anger at bay, my hands already itching to ball up into fists. “Why do you hate Laura so much> You’re the one… you hazed Laura. That is so incredibly lame…”

“It’s your fault, you know! YOu ignored me and gave all of the attention to that little whore!”

“And why exactly do I have to sit here and listen to this? I have no reasons for taking this from you.”

“Because!...Carmilla, why did you sleep with me?” Elsie looks genuinely hurt.

“Why? Because you invited me to, and I got into the mood. Why else?” My face goes hard and cold. “I was in the moment.”

“But it was real for me, and I’ve liked you since the tenth grade and I won’t ever let Laura take you from me.” she screams as I decide that I am completely done with this particular conversation.


	20. Carmilla

“Give this, take that.” I grumbled to myself as I slam into my bedroom.

“What am I, a gift? Everyone just says whatever they want...what a joke.” I curl up on my bed feeling mildly violated.

\-----/////-----

“Good morning! Don’t sulk like a baby!” I fuss at Danny, squeezing her neck as tightly as I could without actually hurting her. Then, I unloaded onto her.

“What?! Laura likes me?”

“I wouldn’t say that she likes you, but when I casually asked her about you yesterday, she said she doesn’t dislike you. So, you should go for it.” I advise, spitting all of the words out in a stream of word vomit.

“Go for it… what about you?” Danny asks, looking confused and concerned.

“I thought that you said that we don’t even make a good couple.” I feel incredibly confused and just a little bit hurt.

“...but it wouldn’t be fun to fight over a girl with you. I’m not into messing up relationships. I’ll take it to the line racetrack though. Either way, I was thinking of giving up on girls for a while.”

“You’re going to give up on the ladies? You? The queen of erotica?” Danny snorts. “I’ll believe that when I see it.”

“It’s all just been lacking lately.”

“You sure that you can do it? Give it up?” 

“If you really believe in something, you can do absolutely anything.”

“Hey, look! It’s the booby goddess!” Danny points into a random direction.

“Huh? Where?!” I whip around to look.

“Carmilla, I do believe that your beliefs are as stable as a house of cards.” Danny smirks and gives me a look.


	21. Laura

I chose the world’s most awkward moment to enter the classroom. Nearly no one was talking and everyone turned to look at me. The whispers started up almost immediately. Danny’s face went red and Carmilla looked truly sheepish.

“I really thought that Elsie would have a chance now that Carmilla is single.”

“Check out those three, why are two of the best-looking girls in our class having lunch Laura?”

I flash back to being told that I was showing off… but it’s really just enough for me to be hearing Carmilla’s voice… 

Just to be near her… 

“You two went to the same middle school, right? You haven’t ever talked before?”

“Um, uh, yeah.”

“It’s the first time, isn’t it?” I ask, and we sigh awkwardly.

“Did you know that Danny skate boards? She might not look it, ut she’s really good and competes and stuff.” Carmilla praises Danny and I get even more awkward.

“Uh, but Carmilla’s pretty good, too! She’s got an awesome sense of balance, I guess from motorcycles.” I can’t believe these two are being so absolutely ridiculous in front of me.

“Oh, dear God. Let’s just cut to the chase. This is the deal...Danny wants to go out with you.” Carmilla studies my face.

“Go out?” I am so incredibly confused.

“She wants you to be her girlfriend. Unless you have someone else that you like?” Carmilla is analyzing me carefully.

“No, there isn’t really…”

“So, it’s cool then. You can start out as friends. I can vouch for her character at least.” carmilla excuses herself.

“Sorry, I know that this came out of nowhere, but I’ve liked you since middle school. If it’s annoying, you can forget all about it.” Danny looks ashamed.

“It’s not annoying. I was just surprised that someone like you could ever like someone like me.”

“You stand out a lot more than you think. Especially to me… a lot of people notice, but you’re not showy, so you’re hard to approach. Carmilla’s the first person brave enough to approach you. To be honest, I was shocked that you were so friendly with her… Karnstein doesn’t seem like your type.” Danny finally seemed comfortable enough to speak her mind and that helped me to open up a little it more as well.

“She said that she like my drawing.” It was one of my first good memories of Carmilla Karnstein. “She said that she wanted to keep it, and that was the first time that anyone had wanted to hold on to my art. It made me happy…” I trail off. Danny looks at me with a look of consideration before her mind clicks onto something.

“Was that drawing a nude by any chance?” she asks with an even more perturbed look.

“No, it was just of a mother holding her baby.” I correct, having loved Carmilla’s affection for the piece.

“It’s no wonder that she wanted it then. Carmilla doesn’t have parents. They died when Karnstein was young… she doesn’t even remember her.”

I flash back to Carmilla gazing at her hand in my father’s when they had shook. Oh, so this is a father’s hand.

“I think that that is where her girl-craziness comes from. She didn’t get the chance to be her mother’s baby when she was little. Or she’s probably just a stupid perv. Karnstein may put on a big show, but on the inside she’s just a kid.”

That makes me grin, it’s so totally true, and Danny’s face falls.

“Laura, are you in love with Carmilla?” she asks.

“Me… with Carm?” I ask, wondering if it were that obvious.

“It’s just that your eyes light up whenever we’re talking about her.” Danny moves to sit beside of me.

“It’s not that I’m in love with her or anything. It’s just a little crush. I love Carmilla’s outlook, her strength. I probably would have felt the same way if she had been a man.” I say thoughtfully.

“Yeah, right,” Danny laughs. “If Carmilla were a man, every woman in the world would be annihilated.” we are heading down the hallway together, looking for Carm when one of Elsie’s minions stop me in the hallway.

“Laura, could you come with me for a second?” she asks and I shoot Danny desperate look. For the first time I pray that Carmilla told Danny something about what has been going on. Instead a hand appears on my shoulder, already forcing me away.

“See you later, Danny.”

She casts me a concerned look but heads on in her own way. I’m shoved down to my knees in front of Elsie in a broom closet off of the hallway. Her hand flashes out of nowhere to backhand me right into the cheekbone.

“Weren’t you told when you were little, that if you don’t do as you’re told, it’d be the closet?” she asks me, a terrifying and cold look on her face. “You really don’t remember very well.” my eyes are already stinging with tears as she lights a cigarette. “Tattoos are in now, aren’t they? I heard that lately they’ve just been burning them in instead of bothering with the ink.” she grabs my hand from me when I make to wipe the tears form my cheeks

She moves the burning end of the cigarette to above the back of my hand by about an inch. “If you get any closer to Carmilla… you’ll be sporting a few tattoos of your own.” she growls.

“Why are you angry with me? I’m not going to get between you and Carm… you even told me yourself that she would never give me a second glance.” I protest, unsure of why I am still the target of this madness.

“It’s you very life that aggravates me. You’re in love with her aren’t you?” hatred, intense and hot as the embers on her cigarette creeps into her voice. 

“Promise me that you will never speak to her again or you will cry for a week from the burns on you arms.” she threatens in a hiss.

“One week… if I cry for one week anyway… will you forgive me if I am in love with Carmilla?” I ask, feeling like I might throw up.

She sneers at me in absolute disgust and I think of Carmilla’s face. Hopefully, the thought of her will help me through whatever comes next. Maybe, if I’m lucky, I will become imbued with some of her strength.

“Hand me one of those dumb-bells.” Elsie orders and she is nearly trembling with rage. Something must seriously be wrong with her.

“Is five pounds okay?” asks Sarah.

“Just fine. I’m only smashing some fingers.”


	22. Carmilla

“How did it go with, Laura?” I ask Danny after coming inside. I had heard that she and Laura were looking for me while I had been outside playing basketball with some of the Zeta guys.

“Kind of a let down, thanks to you, the real object of her affection.” she groans and i am thoroughly confused.

“What? Where is she?” I whip around looking for the tiny artist.

“She hasn’t been back since some of the girls from class dragged her away mid-conversation.” Danny looks mentally exhausted, like she had been overthinking everything, but that wasn’t what worried me.

“Girls?” I ask, and all of the puzzle pieces click together. I jump up and shout. “Where is Elsie?!”

“Not here.”

“Do you know where she went?”

“No idea.”

“Wait… I think I saw her over by the gym.” I run for the gym, faster than I knew that I could.

“Carmilla?” Danny yells after me and I nearly run over a teacher on the stairs. Instead, I grab the railing and jump over to the ground below. Who knows what that psych-bitch could have planned for Laura?”

“Hey, Karnstein! Can’t you go down the stairs the right way?” I ignore him and keep going.

“Sorry!” Danny apologizes as she runs behind me on my heels.

“I will see both of you in guidance later!”


	23. Carmilla

“Why don’t you stop trying to be so tough?” Elsie asks. “If I smash you hand, you won’t be able to draw anymore. Are you okay with that?”

My hand is pinned to the table and Elsie is wielding the dumb-bell in place of a hammer.

“Promise me that you won’t get any closer to Carmilla. Promise me that you will give her up.” Elsie insists, the dumb-bell raised high above her head.

“No.” I mutter, feeling strength rise up in me like I hadn’t in a very long time.

“You won’t be able to draw anymore. Don’t you care about that?” Elsie grins wickedly.

“If you break my right hand, I will draw with my left. If you break both, I can teach myself to draw with my feet. After that, I’ve heard of a girl who can paint holding the brush in her mouth, because she didn’t have hands or feet. Or are you going to smash my mouth too?” I look up and straight into her eyes, though tears are still falling from my own. I can tell that my words are getting to her as she prepares to swing.

My main regret is that i won’t be able to paint the mother and baby for Carmilla. Her eyes held so many emotions when she looked at it.

“I’m sorry, Carm.” I whimpered to myself. “I’m sorry that I can’t give you that. painting…” I close my eyes in preparation for what I know is about to come.

“Elsie?” Sarah Jane asks as her hands start to shake. Pounding footsteps echo as they strike the ground coming ever closer, but by the time that Carmilla gets there, I am the only one left in the room.

“Carm…” I whisper as she kicks in the door where I still kneel on the floor cradling my hands to my chest. She’s sweaty and kneels in front of me, pulling my hands from to check for any injury.

“I’m okay. They only threatened me.” I tell her as her eyes dart around still warily. SHe leans over and buries her face into my shoulder, pulling me into her with a sigh of relief.. Her arms are tight and strong around me and I allow myself to relax and breathe.

“Carmilla?” asks Danny, when she enters the room, and the older girl jumps away from me like I’ve burned her. Danny just stands there wordlessly. Between the two of them I get to the nurse’s office and checked over.

“She only has a few scrapes and bruises, and I know that you were only playing around, but to push her off of the stairs...you’ll have to be more careful.” the nurse scolds and I curl up underneath the covers, pretending to be asleep so as to hide my embarrassment.

“I’m sorry.” Carmilla says, and I feel like I am the only one who can hear the ache in her voice. The nurse leaves but Danny and Carm stick around, still talking like I can’t hear them.

“I had no idea that things were getting so cutthroat. I never would have let her go with them if I had known. Am I that oblivious?” Danny asks herself and Carmilla.

“It’s not your fault.” The raven-haired girl reassures the redhead.

“Even so, I was right there. Why didn’t she say anything? Ask me for help?”

“Laura can’t say anything. Even if she did get away this time, they’ll get her again the next and it will be even worse. She’s basically trapped.” Carmilla runs her hands through her hair, her eyes gone cold and dark with no signs of their usual mischief.

“So, you’re saying that we just shut up and watch ?! I’ll tell Elsie to stop myself.” Danny groans. I can tell that she hates feeling useless. 

“You don’t understand any of it, do you? That’s going to have the opposite effect.”


	24. Carmilla

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry again

“What are we supposed to do, then?” Danny asks me, looking mildly desperate.

“We can only wait until they get over it.” I say and it physically pains me to do so, but Danny can’t see that. I get up to start walking down the hall and she gets up to follow.

“How are you just standing there, and calmly breaking it down?! It’s all you fault, you know.” Danny keeps walking as I stand frozen at her words.


	25. Carmilla

“Carmilla, I’m not going to apologize.” Elsie says when she arrives at the school pool where I asked her to meet me.

“I’m not trying to get you to apologize. Laura isn’t my responsibility.” I growl. I’m still incredibly angry.

“So, why do you care?” Elise crosses.her arms across her chest as domineering and demonic as always. “Why are you so pissed?”

“What has Laura ever done to you anyways?” I lean against the wall with my hands in my pockets trying to appear nonplussed.

“Nothing...don’t you ever get pissed for no reason? I just see her and I get so angry.” Elsie hisses.

“She must not be quite so lame as you think, though. Laura has to be tough, if you couldn’t even lay your hands on her. I’m rather impressed.” I scoff. Elsie’s eyes narrow down to slits in anger and I wonder if I haven’t just made a terrible mistake.

“Don’t you pull that bullsjit with me. It was only a threat this time, but who knows what I’ll pull the next.” she threatens, just like I had expected her to.

“That’s okay.” I say nonchalantly as though I hadn’t even cared. “I’ll just avenge her by killing you.” 

I”ve got her off of her guard and she takes a step back.

“That’s a laugh, you could never do that, Carmilla.” she tries to laugh my threat off.

“And why not?” I ask, knowing that she doesn’t have a good reason.

“Because that would make you a killer. You would be a criminal and a pariah.” Elsie scoffs nervously.

“So what? You see it on the news everyday.”

“How could you possibly be serious?”

“It’s not that big of a deal. People are always dying, it’s one of the few constants in life.” I push myself up to my feet and angle my body for a smaller target. “I never actually thought that I would find myself in this situation. For now, let’s see how far we can push this, yeah? Though I can’t really tell you how confident I am, seeing as how I’ve never killed anyone before.

As I walk away, Elsie sinks to the ground out of fear.

“You have to be joking.” she groans.

“Don’t be surprised that she’s angry.” Danny says. “You have taken all of this much too far....why would you ever want to do that to Laura?”

“She was… Laura was… in the way. It’s - it’s not fair! I waited for so long for her to look my way...ever since we first started going to school, Carmilla kept dating older girls. I didn’t want to make the first move because I was afraid that she would think that I was too young. Then she comes out of nowhere and starts to follow her around…”

“That’s wrong. Carmilla made the first move. Not only that, it’s all just a game to her.“ Danny scoffs.

“No, it’s not! This is different. I can tell because I’ve been watching her for so long… I’ve never seen her like this before. When she looks at Laura, she gets the softest look in her eyes. She seems sad when she looks at her sometimes. Even though it’s fleeting, it’s enough to make my heart ache.” Elsie groans.

“Seriously? She’s never said anything.” Danny’s face loses all of its color as she flashes back to Carmilla telling her to go after Laura.

“that Laura pisses me off! WHen I was about to crush her fingers, she was thinking of Carmilla, not herself…” 

“They are so drawn to one another, and they don’t even realize it. This isn’t the sort of thing that happens all of the time, you know? It’s so obvious. Danny…. have you ever been scared of Carmilla?” Elsie asks.

“Yeah.” Danny answers.  
“How are you still friends with her?”  
“She’s a good person just so long as she is isn’t your enemy. You should let this go, Elsie. You can’t play at her level and I don't think that there is a woman in the world who could spar with her..."


	26. Laura

My right hand...it’s a miracle that I’m even holding a pencil. Not being able to draw… I haven’t ever imagined that before, but when I remember the sound of Carmilla’s heart, I feel like I wouldn’t even mind.

A low rumble echoes through my mind and even my bedroom and I almost convinced myself that I was imaging it until I realized that Carmilla was outside, below my window. I race downstairs so quickly that I feel as though I might be flying.

“Laura?!” My father yells after me. “Where are you going so late?!”

“To the corner-store.” I lie for the first time in a very long time to my father.

“I thought that I would stop by after work to see how you were doing.” Carmilla says awkwardly. She’s in an oversized flannel shirt over one of her work shirts and some dirty jeans. She won’t meet my eyes and her hands are shoved deeply into her pockets. Clearly she’s rather ashamed and nervous.

“Don’t you worry yourself about it. This time, it wasn’t your fault.” I attempt to reassure her.

“I won’t allow Elsie to ever do anything like that to you again. I’m serious, if anything ever happens, anything at all.” Carmilla sighs heavily, allowing her hair to fall into her face.

“I guess that I’m not exactly convincing am I?” she looks pained.

“Carm, don’t be so hard on Elsie...she really, truly is in love with you. It’s my fault for getting carried away.and being so bold.” I say, leaning in closer to her.

“Just you wait a minute! Elsie isn’t my girlfriend and I don’t know what to think about the fact that she thinks that she’s in love with me.” Carmilla looks taken aback and sort of hurt.

“Why can’t you think about it?”  
“Because why should I have to?”  
“She’s serious.” I insist, thought I don’t know why I am.  
“Just because she’s serious? And what part of me is she serious about? My ex told me that I’m an accessory. Girls like to flaunt me because it makes them look good.” Carmilla hisses bitterly. I had never thought of her as the type to get hurt by something like that.

“It’s the same thing as carrying Chanel or Ferragamo. I’ve stopped caring about what they have to say. Girls are at their best when they’re naked...period.” I can’t help but to notice that Carmilla looked incredibly pained and sad as she studied her hands.

“It’s all about having fun in the moment. I don’t like to think about too much.... it never does me much good. It’s just who I am.”

She’s almost looking at me, but not quite. I think that the she wants to, but is too scared to give herself the chance.

“That’s not true. I can feel the colors swirling all around me. There is so much in you.” I say, trying put my feelings into words. I had a feeling that I wasn’t doing as well as I had hoped.

“Color? What kind of colors? Kind of like a painting?” Carmilla asks, knowing that that was how I saw the world she knew that I loved it.

“Mm-hmm.” I reply.

“What kind of colors?” she asks. My eyes go wide and Carmilla’s dart directly to mine.

“A fantastic color...strong and beautiful and…” I trail off, not sure of what to tell her or how much to. Still, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to keep that kind of secret for very long.

“And?” she presses me.

“And, a sad color, too.” I finish. She gives me this look, and I had no idea of how to describe it. It made my heart ache and soar all at once.

“Oh...I’d better get back home.” all of a sudden I am wracked to my core with nervousness. I wonder what it is that I am thinking that I’m doing. I stub my toe and would have smashed my face into the ground if it weren’t for Carmilla’s strong arms catching me.

“I’m...I’m okay. I just tripped.” I try to stand up, but my hair is caught, and I get pulled back down.

“Oh, it seems as though my bracelet doesn’t want you to go.” Carmilla says with a flirty look..

“You always wear that bracelet, don’t you?” I ask, my natural curiosity getting to me again.

“Someone that I knew in LA once gave it to me. It’s for good luck. I don’t usually believe in this luck or karma mumbo jumbo, but I won the 4-hour endurance race wearing this.”

“It’s beautiful.” I say with a sigh as I inspect it. Carmilla fiddles with it for a bit. Finally, she gets the clasp open and drops it into my hand.

“It’s yours.” Carmilla says with a gentle smile.

My insides immediately curl up and get warm.   
“But you just said that this was your lucky charm.” I could tell just by the look on her face exactly how important the bracelet was to her.

“Just give me your wrist, Cupcake.” Carmilla insists. “Wow, your arms are so tiny.” she breathes. 

And oh, this is enough, God...this is plenty. I don’t want anything else in the world...except that I do. She looks into my eyes, one hand still holding my wrist and tucks my hair behind my ear. Gently, she wipes off a tear from my face that I hadn’t know escaped. She leans in.

Heavens, I hadn’t known how much I had been craving this. Tears are falling freely now and finally out lips touch and I feel like we’ve both become stars. My body presses to her until, together we form the night’s sky. Gently, ever so gently, Carmilla pulled away from me and leaned her forehead against mine.

“You can go now, I’ll still be here. I’ll watch until you get back to your room.” Carmilla promises in a soft voice and I can tell that she wants to be alone to think for a bit. This wasn’t what she had come here to do. “Just go, huh?”

Maybe it was also about self restraint. I pull away reluctantly, turn away and practically float back home. I turn back several times to glance at her, but eventually I get back in.

“Laura? Home already?” I ignore my dad and race up to my room. Carm’s motorcycle roars and I jump to my window.. She is straddling her bike, helmet off and hair blowing in the breeze. Once she met my eyes, she pulled the helmet on her head with a toss and rode away. I could be wrong, but sometimes the sound of a motorcycle is reminiscent of crying.

But maybe there is also hope to be found in tears.


End file.
